Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
