You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
