The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
