Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
