the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we're so committed to being not committed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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