What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
