fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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