I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
