He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
