There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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