Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
