I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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