Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
