super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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