And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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