I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
