she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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