I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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