yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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