I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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