I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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