I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
should my penis look like a turkey
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize