so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
