Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
