so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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