Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
