her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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