she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
