white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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