We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize