thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
