Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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