my mouth tastes like poor choices
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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