So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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