glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
