first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
