what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
