Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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