I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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