Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
