She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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