There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
