allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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