I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
