WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
