I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
