I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
