He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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