he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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