come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
