I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
