let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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