...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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