she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
